<![CDATA[Positively PolyAnna - mindful hearts]]>

The idea of multiple people falling in love with each other all at once in a romantic way may be something we have rarely or maybe never considered before. For many of us, the primary and only story we've learned about romance has two people dating at a time, even when we date multiple people. There are some notable exceptions in mainstream media, often portraying love triangles or partner swapping, stories that typically carry a lesson about the group's relationship structure being unworkable in the long term or even morally reprehensible.

But many hallmarks of romance aren't inherently dyadic. Feelings of giddiness and falling in love, or having crushes or squishes, special over-the-top gestures of interest, such as fancy dinners or long conversations while strolling on a beach, hopes for long and bright futures together, and more — these can all occur among and for groups of people as well, and be deeply meaning and impactful for us in a range of ways.

In some lived experiences, these feelings lead to group relationships, triads, quads, and other polyamorous long-term bonds. But length of a connection is not the only marker of the depth and vitality of romantic experiences either. We do not have to want to enter into or enter into a long-term romantic group relationship to experience group romance, or to enjoy and celebrate and derive meaning and benefit from group romantic feelings and experiences.

And yet here again, just approaching the possibility that a group hangout might develop a romantic kind of feel to it, without anyone acting on those feelings in any way, may still not be the first thing our minds consider or have frameworks for safely being aware of or integrating conceptually, even when these feelings arise. Still, gaining awareness of this possibility may also help us understand certain experiences that we have had and make decisions about how we want to live and the kinds of connections we are open to cultivating.

When, if ever, have you noticed having romantic feelings for or with a group of people?